Letter to Sen Sarbanes

julian4239 · Mayor Joined: 07 Jun 2006 Posts: 211

The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes
Lol.. you gotta love this letter!!!!

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Senate Office Building
309 Hart
Washington DC, 20510

Dear Senator Sarbanes,

As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue
Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the
Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process
for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to
illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate
and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions
is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for
five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,0 00 fine
and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal
when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before
everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes
every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of
taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can
apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result
for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local
emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped
paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could
save almost $10,000 a year. Another benefit in gaining illegal status
would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative
to her law school applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for
many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden
of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car
insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have
college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal
(retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would
be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,

Pete McGlaughlin
Get your Forms (NOW)!! Call your Internal Revenue Service
1-800-289-1040.
Please pass this onto your friends so they can save on this great
offer!!!! Razz