The DoD LARK Program. For all libs whining about Gitmo

Soldier415 · Congressional Page Joined: 10 Apr 2007 Posts: 5

A lady libertarian wrote a lot of letters to the White House
complaining about the treatment of a captive insurgent (terrorist)
being held in Guantanamo Bay.

She received back the following reply:

The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, D.C. 20016

Dear Concerned Citizen,

Thank you for your recent letter roundly criticizing our treatment
of the Taliban and Al Qaeda detainees currently being held at Guantanamo
Bay, Cuba.

Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinion
was heard loud and clear here in Washington. You'll be pleased to learn
that, thanks to the concerns of citizens like yourself, the Department of Defense
is creating a new division of the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called the
"Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers" program, or "LARK" for
short.

In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have
decided to place one terrorist under your personal care. Your personal detainee
has been selected and scheduled for transportation under heavily armed
guard to your residence next Monday. Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud
(you can just call him Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the
standards you personally demanded in your letter of complaint.

It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant
caretakers. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of
care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommended in
your letter.
Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that
your sensitivity to what you described as his "attitudinal problem" will
help him overcome these character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in
describing these problems as mere cultural differences. We understand
that you plan to offer counseling and home schooling.

Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand
combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or
nail clippers. We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these
skills at your next yoga group. He is also expert at making a wide variety of
explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to
keep those items locked up, unless (in your opinion) this might offend
him.

Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters (except
sexually), since he views females as a subhuman form of property. This
is a particularly sensitive subject for him and he has been known to show
violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the new dress
code that he will recommend as more appropriate attire. I'm sure you will come
to enjoy the anonymity offered by the burka -- over time. Just remember
that it is all part of "respecting his culture and his religious beliefs" --
wasn't that how you put it?

Thanks again for your letter. We truly appreciate it when folks like
you keep us informed of the proper way to do our job. You take good
care of Ahmed - and remember...we'll be watching.

Good luck!

Cordially, your friend,

Don Rumsfeld.

deportliberals · Congressman Joined: 26 Jan 2007 Posts: 704

Yep...let's make it mandatory that these whining america-haters get to keep and care for one of their very own Gitmo detainees. The remaining 365 pieces of scum are so bad, so corrupt, so brutal that their own countries refuse to take them back.

Just think how many liberals these 365 1st class citizens could waste within a year. Smile

)